Grow up, date some people, fall in love with one, have a normal romantic sexual lifetime partnership, live happily ever after. This is the well-trodden path, so thoroughly mapped that there's practically asphalt and guard railing in places. And it's a fine path! Most people really like it, and have never had any inclination to leave it, or probably even realized that they could.

But what about the rest of us? What about people who want something different, who don't quite fit that path? We could go with the crowd, stay on the asphalt where we know what to expect and everybody knows the rules (or pretends they do), and hope that we can be happy with where we end up. Or. Or we could hop over those safety rails and strike out on our own; bring a whiteboard, some markers, and a whole lot of questions, and blaze our own trail through the thickets to where we want to be. 

That is what we (Hat Guy, Flower Lady, and I) have chosen to do. As we go along, we're picking at definitions, deconstructing assumptions, and building models to help us understand where we are and where we want to be. It's a lot of complicated, difficult work, but it's been made a little easier by the fact that we aren't the first people ever to do this. There are a few, and it is a very small few, who have thought long and hard about these things, and then shared their thoughts online. These people have provided guidance for me - little sign posts stuck in the ground in the middle of the woods saying "I was here, and I came from over there". It's not so much that I want to follow the path these signs describe, but seeing that there are other people out here doing this is heartening, and being able to learn about different parts of the woods without having to visit them all myself is invaluable.

Since I have found the work of others so helpful, it seems only fair that I contribute to the conversation - leave little sign posts of my own - share the models we make and the assumptions we unearth. That is what this blog is for.

Contact: GreyWanders(at)gmail.com

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this! I'm a gray-a who's "ideal" relationship doesn't fit the conventional model you talk about in the first few sentences here. I've found at least one other blogger who's daring to create his/her own standards. And now you. I love seeing that I'm not the only person who thinks/feels this way. Gives me some hope.